Personal Mottos [blog]

1. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

2. Do I look like a fucking people person?

3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

4. I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.

5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

7. And just how may I fuck you over today?

8. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

9. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

10. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

12. One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.

13. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

14. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

15. It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

16. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

17. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

19. You look like shit. Is that the style now?

20. Earth is full. Go home.

21. I thought I wanted a career, turns out all I wanted was paychecks.

22. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.